dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
