She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
