This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
