She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
