Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
