Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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