the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
