you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
