So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
