Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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