if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
