Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
