She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
