I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
