dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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