it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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