Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
