I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
