shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
