In the future we'll all be gay
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
