Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
