i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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