Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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