Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
