I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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