dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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