i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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