I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
