All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
