So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I know her cup size but not her name....
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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