I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
