That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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