Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
