Yo dont text me then not text me
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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