Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
