So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
