I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
