Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
