I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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