I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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