She is in my trunk
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
