The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
