thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
