you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
