True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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