I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I want her autograph on my taint
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
