I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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