After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
