it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
