Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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