Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
