I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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