I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
