2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She needs sedatives and a leash
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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