happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
