According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She needs sedatives and a leash
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
