turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My feet surprised me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
