the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
